The Inappropriate Baby Book: Gross and Embarrassing Memories from Baby’s First Year

Andrews McMeel Publishing - A real baby book for real parents, the Inappropriate Baby Book offers a unique and hysterical way to commemorate those decidedly non-Kodak moments that compose the better part of the newborn experience. The inappropriate Baby Book, however, has the good stuff covered. Or at least until the little angel's prom night! Used book in Good Condition.

So don't sugarcoat the story-let The Inappropriate Baby Book help you tell it like it really is. The book includes an envelope affixed to the last page so that an inappropriate memento can be saved forever. Herein, you'll find room to record such facts as:You were introduced to a rectal thermometer on this day: _______.

The Inappropriate Baby Book: Gross and Embarrassing Memories from Baby's First Year - The first person you peed on was _______. Your mom was embarrassed by breast leakage in the following places: _________. Your first poop happened on this day: _______, and was this color: _________. Now, but they are also stinky, that's the kind of information that should not be lost to posterity!Sure, soggy, babies are cute, sticky, and otherwise inappropriate.

. Any parent who's been through the rigors of an infant invasion knows that the real poop, scoop, er, rarely gets recorded in those precious little keepsake books. After all, scream, those books don't cover all the really gross and fascinating stuff that makes parents laugh, and scratch their heads.





Baby's First Tattoo

Simon & Schuster - They go to the movies. The last movie they saw in a theater is now on American Movie Classics. Their house looks like it was decorated by Pee-Wee Herman. Baby's first Tattoo is for them. They collect fragile pottery. They have candlelit dinners in fancy restaurants. Otherwise you might forget them and think of becoming parents once again.

They have white carpets. For years parents have been buying baby books to document all the precious moments in their new baby's life—Baby's First Tooth, Baby's First Haircut, Baby's First Step. People with small children haven't been to a restaurant without plastic silverware in years. These people do not have children.

Baby's First Tattoo - What have been ignored for too long are those “alternative” precious moments that really should be written down, Baby's 10, celebrated, and remembered—Baby's First Projectile Vomit, Baby's First Tantrum in a Crowded Grocery Store, 000th Dirty Diaper. They have nice things. The alternative scrapbook that documents a baby's truly important memories.

Millions of people think children are the cutest, most wonderful, cuddliest, saintly creatures in the entire world.





Go the F**k to Sleep

Akashic Books - Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. You probably should not read it to your children. Seriously, just go to sleep, a children's book inspired by go the f*** to Sleep and appropriate for kids of all ages, is also available, as well as Seriously, You Have to Eat for finicky ones everywhere! A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed.

Go the f*ck to Sleep. In the process, they open up a conversation about parenting, granting us permission to admit our frustrations, and laugh at their absurdity. With illustrations by ricardo cortes, go the F*** to Sleep is beautiful, subversive, old, and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new, and expectant.

Go the F**k to Sleep - Written by Adam Mansbach. Makes a great gift! Profane, affectionate, and radically honest, California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach's verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night. A reader's digest "25 funniest books of all time""Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation, which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years, quite like this.

The new yorker"a parenting zeitgeist"--Washington Post"A hilarious take on that age-old problem: getting the beloved child to go to sleep. National public radio"a new bible for weary parents"--new york times"resonates powerfully with almost everyone"--Boston Globe"Go the F*** to Sleep challenges stereotypes, opens up prototypes, and acknowledges that shared sense of failure that comes to all parents who weary of ever getting their darlings to sleep and briefly resuming the illusion of a life of their own.

Midwest book reviewgo the f*** to sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world, where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don't always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland.





Safe Baby Handling Tips

Running Press Adult - Makes a great gift! Makes baby-rearing a blast! A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Running Press Book Publishers. Written by Adam Mansbach. With its laugh-out-loud guidance on baby care, Safe Baby Handling Tips is a must-have for anyone overwhelmed—and befuddled—when it comes to caring for their bundle of joy.

. Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. Incompetent parents everywhere can benefit from this indispensable guide—complete with The Wheel of Responsibility to help moms and dads negotiate baby responsibilities and shirk diaper duty! whenever they can. Now, it's updated and refreshed to be even more helpful and relevant to the modern parent.





If You Give a Mommy a Glass of Wine

CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform - Being a mother is hard work, and all mothers deserve a good laugh. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine. A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Makes a great gift! If you give a mommy a glass of Wine is a modern mother-honoring parody of a classic children's book. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Written by Adam Mansbach.

Running Press Book Publishers. Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes.





Experimenting with Babies: 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid

TarcherPerigee - Simple, and shapes to understanding new words, engaging, and fun for both baby and parent, learning to walk, voices, each project sheds light on how your baby is acquiring new skills—everything from recognizing faces, and even distinguishing between right and wrong. Whether your little research subject is a newborn, these simple, or a toddler, a few months old, surprising projects will help you see the world through your baby’s eyes—and discover ways to strengthen newly acquired skills during your everyday interactions.

Running Press Book Publishers. Written by Adam Mansbach. Experimenting with babies 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Makes a great gift! A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. Babies can be a joy—and hard work.

Experimenting with Babies: 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid - Now, motor, they can also be a 50-in-1 science project kit!This fascinating and hands-on guide shows you how to re-create landmark scientific studies on cognitive, language, and behavioral development—using your own bundle of joy as the research subject.





The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance Owner's and Instruction Manual

Quirk Books - Experimenting with babies 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Random House. But none of this experience will prepare you for the world's biggest technological marvel: a newborn baby. Makes a great gift! . Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, the baby owner's Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: What's the best way to swaddle a baby? How can I make my newborn sleep through the night? When should I bring the baby to a doctor for servicing? Whatever your concerns, you'll find the answers here—courtesy of celebrated pediatrician Dr.

Louis borgenicht and his son, Joe Borgenicht. A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of childcare. At last! a beginner's guide to newborn baby technology You've programmed your DVR, you’ve installed a wireless Internet connection, you can even check Facebook on your cell phone.

The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance Owner's and Instruction Manual - Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. Running Press Book Publishers. Written by Adam Mansbach. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine.





Nobody Likes a Cockblock

Osun Books - Experimenting with babies 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. It's 32-pages of inappropriate prose that will leave you laughing about your sad life. Go the f*ck to Sleep. A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Nobody Likes a Cockblock. Nobody likes a cockblock is a full color paperback children's book for adults about woodland creature moms and dads just trying to get their swerve on.

It's perfect for birthday parties, and of course, baby showers, baptisms, wedding presents. Makes a great gift! Random House. Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine. Written by Adam Mansbach. Running Press Book Publishers.





How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill

Knock Knock 50004 - Experimenting with babies 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. Nobody Likes a Cockblock. Measures 4. 5 x 6. 5 inches. Whether you want to send your children to therapy with the same techniques your parents used or try an entirely new approach, this instructional volume will show you the way.

Written by Adam Mansbach. Paperback lets you learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting. Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Running Press Book Publishers. This groundbreaking instructional volume teaches you how to give your children the lifelong gifts of mental and emotional damage.

How to Traumatize Your Children: 7 Proven Methods to Help You Screw Up Your Kids Deliberately and with Skill - Parents of the world rejoice! Knock Knock's bestselling How to Traumatize Your Children has been revamped with all-new totally dysfunctional illustrations. Whether you employ the same ruinous techniques your parents used or try out an entirely new approach, you are bound to succeed! Learn the latest buzzwords and trends in traumatic parenting! Choose a personal trauma style controlling, indulgent, and more! Paperback; 4.

5 x 6. 5 inches; 144 pages; written by Knock Knock A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Random House. Choose a personal trauma style - controlling, indulgent, and more.





I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting

William Morrow - Accompanied by cheery illustrations and photos I Heart My Little A-Holes will make you laugh so hard you'll wish you were wearing a diaper. Following the success of go the f**k to sleep, confessions of a Scary Mommy, and Ketchup Is a Vegetable, a collection of funny, warm, and charmingly profane tales from the frontlines of parenthood by the author of the popular Baby Sideburns blog.

Illustrated by Ricardo Cortes. Measures 4. 5 x 6. 5 inches. Then you gave birth to a poop machine or two. When your daughter outlines every corner of your living room with a purple crayon, she's an a-hole. Random House. Once upon a time you and your partner had a perfect life: dinners out, weekend mornings cuddling in bed, brunch with friends.

I Heart My Little A-Holes: A bunch of holy-crap moments no one ever told you about parenting - Plus, there's that whole loving them more than anything in the whole world thing. When your rug rats purposely paint the kitchen ceiling with their smoothies, they're a-holes. But it's against the law and there's the suicide hotline. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine. Running Press Book Publishers.





K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice

Chronicle Books - Choose a personal trauma style - controlling, indulgent, and more. Whether you want to send your children to therapy with the same techniques your parents used or try an entirely new approach, this instructional volume will show you the way. Measures 4. 5 x 6. 5 inches. Random House. William Morrow Company. If you give a Mommy a Glass of Wine.

Nobody Likes a Cockblock. Go the f*ck to Sleep. Adorable illustrated characters lead readers down a path of poor decision-making, rhyming couplets offer terrible life lessons in which O is for opening things with your teeth, F is for setting Daddy's wallet on fire, and alphabetical, and R is for Raccoon but definitely not for rabies.

K is for Knifeball: An Alphabet of Terrible Advice - Written by Adam Mansbach. From the authors of the breakout bestseller All my friends are dead. Experimenting with babies 50 Amazing Science Projects You Can Perform on Your Kid. Running Press Book Publishers. With plenty of playfully disastrous choices lurking around every corner, this compendium of black humor may be terrible for actual children, but it's perfect for the common-senseless child in all adults.

A hilarious poem on the struggles of getting your child to bed. Makes a great gift!